The Joker and Miss E
by Fighting4Fandoms
Summary: A collection of One-shots about the Joker and my OC Miss E
1. Before the Harlequin

Before the meeting of The Joker and Harleen Quinzel, before the birth of Harley Quinn Joker had another henchgirl.  
She wasn't like Harley.  
She didn't have blonde pigtails or pretty, baby blue eyes.  
She didn't wear a red and black costume either.  
Sure Joker beat her now and again but she did have a healing factor but sometimes the healing power didn't work.  
The Joker met her while on a bank heist with his henchmen and goons.  
She was busy beating up a load of guards and as she moved about the Joker was enchanted by her raven locks and her emerald green eyes; those eyes was just like his own, perfect.  
As his boys were stealing a load of shiz he approached the sexy, damn sexy, fine ass damsel. That's how they met

"I'm Miss E. Who're you? You lovely not to mention handsome lookin' devil."  
For once in his life The Joker was actually speechless. Never has he ever met such a fine dame.  
"Sorry, I should've known you are... The Joker."  
At least she knew who he was.

Who doesn't know him?

"You don't happen to work for anyone do ya?"  
She shook her head.  
Miss E accepted the role of the Joker's new henchgirl and damn son she was defo a brilliant choice.  
After all, Joker did choose her.

"What's your real name though? Mine's Alice."  
Well Jervis was going to like her.  
He trusted her with just knowing her for 5 minutes.

"Jack."


	2. Not that Bad

Miss E was a gifted person. Always has and always will. She was hired by the Joker for his pleasure and her skills. She was his best henchgirl, she knew when not to cross the line or even get two inches to it, she always knew how to make Jack smile as well. She wasn't the best at making jokes but damn... she knew her way with words. Words just rolled down her mouth and formed the perfect sentence, especially to him. He loved her for her crazy ways, beautiful looks and intelligent brain. In his eyes she was the perfect woman and his guardian angel; someone watching out for him always.  
Anyway, domestic life for the pair was quite nice but rough and violent simultaneously. She was either used for his sexual pleasure/entertainment or sex toy, housewife or just an amazing punch bag. She was used to the spontaneous acts of violence to her body but as time grew on the acts of violence became more frequent. She never complained until Jack punched her prosthetic limb off. He was shocked when himself and Miss E when the leg vibrated which was indeed very aggravating. Jack dropped her leg and ran out of the room in shock whilst leaving the henchwench with tears down her face and on the floor with blood blooming her body. She was extremely pale when he left the room but as she was left to her own devices and in pain she eventually became dangerously white but by the time he came back she was on the floor in a pool of her own crimson blood.  
The question that was on his mind was... 'How is she still alive?'  
That was the day where the infamous Miss E developed her ability to survive any injury no matter how painful, bloody or vicious the conflict was. He stood in the doorway just watching her steady breaths as he knew by the way her small body was slowly moving up and down in a pattern. He stood there for a few moments just thinking of what he should do to help the bloodied soul. Whilst in the state of unconsciousness, Jack picked the young woman up and placed her on the bed they both shared. He reattached her prosthetic limb and cleaned up the blood that littered her body. He admitted that this was one of the worst beatings she had received, he didn't mean to. He couldn't control that anger and rage that was often released mainly on his most faithful servant but she wasn't just another servant.  
He would promise to try and not hurt her as much. He knew he couldn't keep that promise but he would indeed try.  
He couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't kill her.  
He loved her too much.  
He said it.  
He  
Loved  
Her.

And Alice loved him back...


	3. Not All Glitter is Gold

He was annoyed. So fucking annoyed.  
He planned the heist to perfection, then it all went tits up because of the new recruit. Naturally the recruit was shot... painfully before being killed. Miss E didn't even do anything wrong so obviously he hadn't punished her for once.  
All he wanted do now was chill at home but when he got back to the hideout he was still pissed. Alice saw this and tried to stay out of his way. That worked for about an hour.

Jack sat at his desk with his head on top. She could tell he was... pissed. He didn't even move when she walked into the office. She was in nothing but a small red dress and her hair was down with the left bottom side a deep purple and the right bottom side was a dark green. Her green eyes were shimmering in the light in the room. She crept up behind him and put her tender hands on his shoulders. He growled and lifted his head up. He still had the stoic expression on his face on the other hand Alice had a small smile on hers.  
She span his spinning chair so he faced her and she knelt down on the floor in front of him. She pulled his trousers down rather slowly, no need to take off anything on his feet, nothing there anyways. She climbed onto his knees and sat sideways on them. She put her arms around his neck and sliced his thankfully older shirt off without scratching his back. He was already annoyed she didn't want to make it worse by making him bleed, at least not like that...

He started to smile his trademark grin and started to relax. He knew whenever he failed a heist, being Alice's fault or a henchmen's, he always had her to make him feel better. He watched her as she scratched her fingernails on his back. He stroked his pale hand across her black locks as she patted his green hair. They looked into each other's green eyes. He stood up with her in his big and muscular arms and carried her to their shared bedroom. He kicked the door open and threw her onto their bed. She giggled as he pulled the rags from his white torso and climbed like a tiger onto the bed. She showed him her trademark, Cheshire cat grin and he smiled even bigger in return. She rose her arms to him and threw herself on top of him.

"Oh, you cheeky minx!" He laughed and hugged her close to him.

He was definitely right about one thing, whenever he was stressed, Miss E would always be there to save the day...


	4. Chaos is the New Love

Blueprints were spread all over the large desk in the large office. They were all covered in miraculous and infamous plans Jack had spent FOREVER on. Alice made sure her baby huskies didn't go in the office and cause damage to the plans partly because she would receive a smack OR because it would leave Jack in a terrible mood, it was never good to have the Joker in a bad mood when going on a heist, which they would be doing soon.  
So, Alice left Jack to his own devices and cleaned the house downstairs. She made sure his clothes were neatly ironed and pressed and his shoes were nice and shiny. She fed her babies, Blaize and Logan, and brushed their super-fluffy fur. At the present time they were asleep in their basket. Jack hated them moulting over the rather expensive sofas and to be honest so did Alice, the sofas were an absolute nightmare to keep clean.

A few hours later, the Joker came out of his office with his heist outfit on and wallpaint applied. He stood up straight and yelled for his companion.  
"MISSY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!"

Miss E opened the door to the bedroom she slept in when J was angry. She was wearing her Alice outfit she wore when they were out on heists and damn... she was beautiful.  
"E... You look beautiful baby."  
"Aww...Thanks hon. What were you yelling 'bout anyways."  
"I don't really remember"

"Trust you J. Trust you..."

The couple sneaked their way into the building where the nobleman was staying. Miss E climbed the ceiling with her pistol in her mouth whilst Joker stayed in the van outside monitoring her moves. Miss E crept into the treasury room with caution, before going in she looked around for any traps or guards, thankfully none were there. She took her gun out of her mouth when she landed to the floor. With her amazing skills, Miss E flipped her way across the room to a large box with the large diamond inside. With a Cheshire cat grin, she swung her hammer into the box. The alarms didn't sound because J and the hacking crew disabled them before the female villain went inside. Inside, Miss E, without cutting herself on the sharp glass picked up the beautiful diamond and ran out of the building the same way she had gotten in.

She made her way to the van and showed her companion the diamond and smiled at the expression on his face.  
With a kiss, he smiled to his wonderful accomplice, "Well done slugger."  
"Thanks." She said whilst returning the kiss. "I bet that's gonna give us a pretty penny, J."  
"You're definitely right about that! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

She was happy he was in a good mood, after all what's love without a bit of chaotic laughter!


End file.
